The Ass Burger War
Origins Deviant Fart houses many fetishes; most of which thrive even on the surface of the site. The cartoonized, large breast fetish pioneered by IGPHHanoutIGPHHangout is one of these. IGPHHangout, an early recorded Jimmie, performed his mark on the character Hex Maniac; an idol considered sacred to Neo Scary Godmother. Outraged by what they considered a "lazy, primal, bastardization" of their idol, Tommy Dickles, King of Men, led an attack against the propaganda slandering the holy Pokemon character. Fuck You The method of retaliation was honesty. King Dickles and his loyal vassals announced the phrase "Fuck you" on Hangout's work; this phrase representing the "truest of meanings in the hearts of men". The phrase became a common war cry throughout the war. Art Liberation In an attempt to purify the deeds done by Hangout, Dickles recreated the picture of Hex Maniac from scratch. The counter attack to this course was fabricated claims of theft by the minions of Hangout. It was later on this piece the forces of Hangout tried to bargain with King Dickles; but the King of Men knows no greed. The 1st Assembly of White Knights Fearing his broken English would not hold back the forces of King Dickles and his vassals, Hangout made a decree of aid and called fourth the first wave of White Knights. Most of the White Knights merely downplayed the influence of Dickles' tactics but one was a Jimmie of exceptional standards: Marine1337. While the comment section succumbed to shitposting that even moot would be proud of, Marine began to propose that King Dickles and his Marshal, Farley Sweet, were both the same entity. Through the skirmishes held by Marine, it was revealed that he and his allies all had Ass Burgers--and thus the war was given its name. The 2nd Assembly of White Knights As Marine poked his nose deeper and deeper into the affairs of King Dickles, he slowly began to make this war more about himself. Much like a Tumblr Feminist, he made false accusations against Marshall Sweet, and not the King of Men for reasons unknown, and called forth his own assembly of White Knights. This wave of White Knights were more diplomatic and made numerous attempts to make peace with Sweet; but seeing that he was not the King, which Marine should have known, their efforts were in vain. Crippled Warriors Because Marine blocked Sweet, but somehow unblocked him immediately afterwards (how the fuck do you do that; in fact one of the other Jimmies did that too), he was forced to wait 48 hours before he could reblock Sweet. This allowed Marine more time to brag about his false accomplishments, deny his ties to Islam, and slander the names of Scary Godmother. The War's End With King Dickles' already blocked by most accounts, as he should have been from the fucking start (who the hell thought it was smart to keep shitposting with him?), Sweet decided to rob the satisfaction from Marine blocking him and blocked the Ass Burger Lord himself; thus putting an end to the war on 1/10/15. Category:Events